Sunday, January 03, 2010

5 Years

Hmmm. I just looked, and I started this blog exactly 5 years ago today. I was over a year away from having my first child. I had been married for 7 years. I was even more web-obsessed than I am today. I was living in a dinky, albeit cozy little apartment in Arlington. I was working in Newton, my most inspiring teaching gig, especially considering the fact that I was kicking myself for having left a fabulous job in Needham to take a job that was an absolutely horrible match for me.

Its wild to think about the things that took up my time and attention. I knew I *should* be cooking healthy meals for myself and my hubby, but I used my teeny tiny kitchen as a good excuse not to. I was fantasizing about a career in multicultural education or teaching poetry. I was collecting poems on every possible topic, and making lists of songs that could be used in the curriculum of every possible discipline while posting messages to the school's email system about all of these things.

These days, with a 3 1/2 year old, and a 2 1/2 year old, I'm learning to use a crock pot in the hopes that it will help me serve healthy, somewhat interesting meals for my family. I am getting ready to blow the dust off my dulcimer to make music with my music-loving babies. And its scary the art supplies all over the place for the kids to get into.

I float in and out of two modes: "Isn't this the most amazing experience and time in life for anyone - raising little people?" and "Oh Good Lord. I am so not equipped for this." My resolve to be patient waxes and wanes in between these moments. I struggle with my jealousy of my husband's never-ending supply of patience with the children.

And through it all, there is Hope. Hope Church, and the Hope that IS God. Life truly is a the good times and the struggles. Its just easier to remember this when things are going smoothly. And when your kids aren't tearing up paper bags because you chose a piss-poor time to try to sit and compose a blog entry. Ah, 2010 isn't any more sane than 2009. But that's o.k. :-)

No comments: