Wednesday, December 10, 2008


So I'm trying to get in the Christmas Spirit. I've always been a bit of a scrooge...not quite sure why. I get more stressed out about the fact that I don't think of "cool" gifts for people and that there are more gifts to get, than I get excited about Christmas.

I'm listening to "Grown Up Christmas List" by Amy Grant right now.

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a hurting human soul


What is this illusion called
The innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief
Can we ever find the truth


So it would be easy to blame the absence of my aunt for my bad attitude. Or my mommy-stress. But I've struggled with the "Normal Rockwell" expectations for years. Christmas has been different the last few years. When I starting hearing Liz Myer Boulton preach about Jesus, and how he of all people can understand our struggles...I've celebrated Christmas with a different feel. Jesus' birthday really *means* something. When I think about the fact that I never feel like I "measure up"...I should remember I don't have to.

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