Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Being Stuck

Hmmmm. How personal to get on a blog that *anyone* in the world can see. I don't think that many people actually do see this, but anyway, I still think about that. My husband and I are at the point where we're ready to start our family. But because my disability makes it hard enough for me to get around, and the extra weight of a baby will only make it more difficult....I know I need to lose some weight first.

I admit it - I am a woman of very little willpower. I only do things if I'm totally jazzed about them, and/or if they are easy. Last Spring, I was on a roll....I was taking a class I loved, I was out on the bikepath in my wheelchair, watching what I ate. I was soooo excited about life....there wasn't enough time in the day for all the wonderful things I wanted to do...and well, food managed to go into the "background".

Yesterday I spoke with my therapist about losing weight for having a baby, and I cried. Was it because I'm nervous about being a mom, or because I'm overwhelmed at the thought of "dieting"? I don't know....but I did admit I've been in my slump on and off for about a year now, and that I eat as a way of self-medicating.

So why the hell am I babbling about this on a public website? Because I know this struggle is *anything* but unique...and I thought someone *might* read this, and either be comforted that they aren't the only ones....or someone might email me, or who knows? Maybe I figured if Wynonna can have a whole seciton on her website about her weight - damn it, so can I! LOL!

I'll post more later.....or maybe I won't. It's my blog, so I can do what I want! ;-)

Traveling the Road,


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